MPM: Ep. 105 - The Adventures of Wrinkly Danglesack, The Christmas Elf.

Silent Night, Deadly Night | Rare Exports - Hello everyone! We hope you had a great Christmas and we welcome you back to our third and final Holiday podcast as well as the last podcast of 2013! In the absence of Phil the Kill, Mark and myself decided to take on a couple of Christmas horror flicks and celebrate the lightly tapped evil Santa following out there. In this episode we roast through the 80's slasher film, Silent Night, Deadly Night as well as a newer foreign take on holiday horror and the involvement of Krampus with Rare Exports. By listening to this episode, you'll get to hear Mark and I rant about the differences in American and European horror films, the fact that carrying a bathtub around for drowning naughty children seems like a lot of work, and discuss why slasher villains always seem to excel in Archery. Enjoy!

MPM: Ep. 104 - Happy Holodicks!

Scrooged | The Ref - Hello everyone and welcome to Christmas episode 2 of 3 of Motion Picture Meltdown! We hope you've been stuffing your faces with terrible holidays sweets like fruitcakes and lemon squares, as we've been sitting through loads of Christmas movies trying to find the right ones to roast! This episode, Mark, Philip, and Stephen roast through Billy Murray's holiday classic Scrooged as well as the underrated hit from the 90's starring Denis Leary and Kevin Spacey, The Ref. In this podcast, we talk about the many roles of acting genius Billy Murray, the forever on-going saga of Christmas Carol remakes, the schematics of beating someone senseless with a toaster, the dangers of cat pee, and Mark's holo-teleportation fucksting text message cock. Enjoy!

MPM: Ep. 103 - Merry Critmas

A Christmas Story | National Lampoons Christmas Vacation - Happy Holidays everyone and welcome to one of three Christmas episodes of Motion Picture Meltdown! We've taken these couple weeks around Christmas to separate from the normal shabang of things and focus on solely Christmas films. The first ones we roast through are some of the best Christmas classics out there. We go through A Christmas Story as well National Lampoons Christmas Vacation. In this podcast, Mark had the brilliant idea to make us all put soap in our mouths every time we say the "f, dash dash dash word", we let you hear one of the best movie insults ever, as well as talk about the worst Christmas gifts we've ever received! Enjoy!

MPM: Ep. 102 - Captain Howdy Doody

The Exorcist | The Omen - Hello everyone and welcome to episode #102 of Motion Picture Meltdown! Gearing up for the holiday season when decided to close out a couple horror episodes with podcasting about two of the most famous "possession" films of all time. Mark, Philip and myself go over Mark's favorite movie of all time, The Exorcist, as well a comparible film by a lot of people, the 1976 demonic film The Omen. In this episode, we do our best demon voices, we argue over the right way to say baboon, and we talk about the crazy shit that follows these types of movies around, deeming them...truly of the devil? Enjoy!

MPM: Ep. 101 - The King and MPM

Carrie | Pet Sematary - Hey everyone and welcome to episode 101 of Motion Picture Meltdown! This episode Philip, Mark, and myself look at a couple movies that were adaptations of books written by one of our favorite authors, Stephen King. In corralation to the release of the remake, we decide to roast through Stephen King's first novel and movie from 1976, Carrie as well as a movie adapted from one of my favorite books, Pet Sematary. In this episode, you'll hear the pros of living across the street from Herman Munster, the questioning of why fat people weren't on American Gladiators, the legacy of Creesus, and why little kids are the creepiest. Enjoy!

MPM: Ep. 100 - Year of the Bat

Batman Movie Franchise Special - Hello everyone and welcome to EPISODE 100 of MOTION PICTURE MELTDOWN!!!! Sorry for the delay. Not only did I want to make this episode awesome and full of great information and hilarity, but I also just got married, woo! In this podcast, Mark, Philip, and myself enter a new format of doing things for MPM, and have a new layout to make future episodes much better! We have a great episode 100 for you as we go through the history of BATMAN in film. We start back at Adam West classic Batman: The Movie and work through the 80's and 90's with Batman, Batman Returns, Batman Forever, and Batman & Robin, then we venture into the Nolan trilogy with Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, and The Dark Knight Rises. We give lots of opinions on things like "hottest Batman girl" and "best Alfred" up to the obvios "batman". We also give our opinions on Batfleck! Enjoy!!

MPM: S05/E23 - Robosapiens

Robocop | Robocop II - Hey everyone! Welcome to another great episode of Motion Picture Meltdown! This is our 99th episode (#100 is gonna be a BIG surprise!), and we hit a couple movies that honestly should've been reviewed long ago. Mark, Dehart, and myself roast through the original Robocop as well as its terrible sequel, Robocop II. With a remake right around the corner, we decided to go ahead bring out the big guns by picking apart these two gems. In this episode, you'll hear me rant about my "bad guys shouldn't play good guys" opinion, you'll hear Dehart do his best Ernie Hudson voice, as well hear our gay-porn version of Robocop, Roblowcop. Enjoy!

MPM - S05/E22 - MPM's Crazy, Most Non, Non, Non-Heinous Unbelievable Story!

Hello Everyone! Welcome once again to another amazing episode of Motion Picture Meltdown! Only two more episodes (including this one) before MPM makes its 100th episode! That's over FIVE years of MPM episodes, and we've finally made it to the big 100! If you have any special ideas, shout outs, or ANYTHING, let us know so we can include it on the show! This episode, Mark, Phil, Dehart, and myself take on a couple movies we should of done long ago, and battle the evil us's while we roast through Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure and its awesome sequel Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey. This week you'll hear us talk about general creeperisms, Van Halen's band wishes post Hagar era, and "Bee Thoven". Enjoy!

MPM: S05/E21 - Go Karate Montage!

The Karate Kid | The Karate Kid II - Hello Listener-sons! Welcome to another episode of Motion Picture Meltdown! We are only two episodes away from EPISODE 100! It has been a great five years, and here's to many more! We dive back to the 80's (once again) and go through the original 1984 movie, The Karate Kid as well as its direct sequel The Karate Kid II. In this episode, Mark, Philip, and myself discuss the anatomy of a perfect movie, we debate the similarities between Pat Morita and Victor Wong, and decide exactly when the best time to fight a dude who can punch statues is...Enjoy!

MPM: S05/E20 - It's a Bird! It's a Plane! It's a Terrible Movie!

Superman | Supergirl - Hello Superfriends! Welcome to another excellent episode of Motion Picture Meltdown! In celebration of this summer's release of Man of Steel and also the announcement of a Batman/Superman movie at comic-con that all you DC nerds are jerking off to, we've decided to take a look at a couple of older DC inspired superhero movies. This episode, Mark, Philip, and myself have decided to check out 1978's Superman as well as the sparkling dildo filled movie from 1984, Supergirl. In this podcast you'll hear such things as Mark's opinion on the character of Superman, the logic behind the "Ferris Bueler" way of reversing something bad that's happened, as well as anything having to do with Supergirl being referred to as purely terrible. Enjoy!

MPM: S05/E19 - SyFy Sharkathon!

Sharktopus | Sharknado - Hello everyone and happy Shark Week! In celebration of the glorious week dedicated to our toothy friends of the sea, we've decided to once again roast two of the many, many terrible movies out there featuring them. This time, we dive into two more recent SYFY creations that pay homage to Roger Coreman. In this episode, we podcast about Sharktopus and the brand new Sharknado. In this podcast you'll hear Philip, Mark, and myself talk about the logic of blowing up tornadoes with bombs, discect Tara Reid's career, plastic surgery, and Playboy shoot, as well as move John Heard (dad from Home Alone) up in our MPM actor standings. Enjoy, and we hope this is a great way to end your 2013 Shark Week

MPM: S05/E18 - I Love Vamp.

Subspecies | Near Dark - Hello everyone! Welcome to another episode of Motion Picture Meltdown! With the absence of Philip, we decided to go ahead do a couple of older lesser known vampire movies upon Mark's suggestion. In this episode, we dive back into the 80's to check out the trailer trash vampires in Near Dark as well as take a look at more of a classic take on the bloodsuckers in the 1991 flick, Subspecies. You'll hear us talk in depth about Angus Scrimm's hair, Bill Paxton's overacting, how thankful there was never an Alien/Vampires crossover movie, as well as Philip's obsession with "Floridian Horses". Enjoy!

MPM: S05/E17: I'd Do Anything For Love(Craft), But I Won't Do That.

Re-Animator | From Beyond - Hello everyone! Welcome to another great episode of Motion Picture Meltdown! Sorry for the delay this week, but unfortnately we had to deal with the passing of our beloved cat Oreo. He was a good cat, but shit happens. In the spirit of dead cats, Mark, Philip, myself, and special guest Dehart go through some of the coolest horror 80's horror movies out there. Both being derived from one of the original horror writiers, H.P. Lovecraft, we podcast over his adaptations of Re-Animator as well as From Beyond. In this episode you'll hear things along the lines of Bic Mac detecting pineal glands, Randy Savage zombies, and even BIG JOE GRIZZLY makes an appearance! Enjoy!

MPM: S05/E16 - We All Scream For These Movies To End!

Screamers | Screamers: The Hunting - Hey everyone! Welcome to another episode of Motion Picture Meltdown!  Mark couldn't join Phil and myself for this episode, so we gathered up a couple of United Cypher goons, XR900 and Dehart and roast through two AWFUL movies. We roast the 1995 scyfy flick Screamers as well as its 2009 sequel "starring" Lance Hendrickson, Screamers: The Hunting. In this episode you'll hear us talk about things like Peter Weller's complete lack of giving a shit to be in this movie, you'll hear possibly the most annoying sound in the world, the Screamer, and for the first time ever, you'll hear why we all want to fire a music soundtrack developer. Enjoy!

MPM: S05/E15 - Tranceformers! Bad Movies In Disguise!

Trancers | Trancers II - Hello everyone! Welcome to another great episode of Motion Picture Meltdown! In this episode (and the next), Mark is out of town so Phil and I bring in a couple of very special guests from United Cypher itself, XR900 and Dehart! We travel back into the 80's (of course) and check out a couple movies that Phil picked out, and coincidentially, we'd never heard of. This week, we roast through Charles Band(Puppet Master, Evil Bong, etc.)'s Trancers and Trancers II. In this episode, we go over the age limit for the cool, hip protagonist, the cost of Winn Dixie toy aisle Blade Runner, the dangers of naming charcters too close to real actors, and how big a Hot N Now drink actually is. Enjoy, and don't forget the mustard for your ham grenades!

MPM: S05/E14: NO VACANCY!

Motel Hell | The House On Haunted Hill - Hello again! Welcome to another great episode of Motion Picture Meltdown! This episode, Mark, Philip, and myself revisit the horror genere and decide to roast through the TERRIBLE remake of the classic The House on Haunted Hill as well as an obscure slasher-cannibalistic flick from the 80's known as Motel Hell. There's no shortage of awfulness between both of these movies, so there's plenty to laugh about! In this episode we talk about the sheer and GOD AWFUL acting of Chris Kattan and Taye Diggs, we talk about the plain in sight usage of major roller coasters as prodcut placement in films, as well as struggle to find the humor in killing and smoking family pets. Enjoy!

MPM: S05/E13 - Off To The Races!

Death Race 2000 | Death Race - Hello again! Welcome to another episode of Motion Picture Meltdown! We apologize for the small delay, but with Father's Day, it took a little longer to get the episode up...but it doesn't matter because its here! This episode, Mark, Philip, and I take a rare trip back to the 1970's and roast through Roger Corman's Death Race 2000 as well as the Paul W. Anderson remake Death Race. In this episode, we talk about Jason Statham's one dimensional acting, the pros and cons of felacio offering GPS machines, and what it might feel like to be butt-flossed by a giant Rambo knife. Enjoy!

MPM: S05/E12 - Insert 90's Kid Sports Movie Here.

Space Jam | The Mighty Ducks - Hello again! Welcome to the newest episode of Motion Picture Meltdown! This week, Philip, Mark, and myself take a little trip back to our younger years an roast through two of the most classic (and let's not forget cliche) kid's sports movies of 90's, Space Jam and The Mighty Ducks. In this episode, we talk about Looney Toons sexism, the mere fact that Looney Toons have been ruined by white trash, the fact the Bill Murray can save anything, and the new segment: Where's Emilio? Enjoy!

MPM: S05/E11 - BEAST WARS!

Beast Master | Dragonslayer - Welcome once again to another great episode of Motion Picture Meltdown! Sorry for the day delay, but we've been experiencing a few technical difficulties. Everything seems to be back on track as Mark, Philip, and myself dive back into the 80's fantasy genre and roast through Disney's DragonSlayer and the ever worthless Beast Master. In this pocast, we talk about the ridiculousness of "Yannosh" being a hero, the fact that Marc Singer looks like Bon Jovi, Luke Skywalker, and 80's Kevin Bacon had a butt baby, and the terrible logic of dying a tiger black, just to make it look more badass.

MPM: S05/E10 - Schuck On My Corn-Cob!

Children of the Corn | Graveyard Shift - Hello everyone! Thanks again for checking out another episode of Motion Picture Meltdown! Happy belated Memorial Day weekend, and sorry for the late posting, but look at it this way, you get TWO great episodes this week! In this episode, Mark, Philip, and myself roast through two of the shittier (but far from the shittiest) Stephen King short story adaptations that have been brought to the big screen. The original 1984 Children of the Corn and 1990's Graveyard Shift. In this episode, we talk about the logic of a bunch of five-year olds taking over a redneck town, believing in God/Satan, Terrible ratborpion creatures, and vague responses to someone asking you about murders. Enjoy!

MPM S5E09: Meteor Man's Gonna Git You, Sucka!

Meteor Man | I'm Gonna Git U Sucka! - Hello everyone! Welcome again to another great episode of Motion Picture Meltdown! This episode we take a look at a couple of Philip's preferred childhood movies and roast the "black" comedies, Meteor Man and  I'm Gonna Git U Sucka! In this episode, we have finally found hair even worse than James Earl Jones from Conan, and its still on James Earl Jones! We talk about where Don Cheadle's role a "Goldilocks" ranks on his acting list, the dangers of OGing, and the fact that silly comedies like IGGUS and Airplane just don't exist anymore. Enjoy!

MPM S5E08: Welcome To Fright Night!

Fright Night | Fright Night 2 - Hey everyone, welcome to another episode of Motion Picture Meltdown! We're continuing down the horror trail this week as Mark, Philip, and myself (Stephen) go through a couple of cheesy 80's vampire flicks known as Fright Night and Fright Night 2. In this episode we talk about the range from really great to really terrible special effects in one movie, the origin of "Peter Vincient"s name, Philip's terrible red pants, as well as telling some stories of people we went to school with that remind us of the character "Evil". Enjoy!

MPM S507: Super Ghosts and Ghouls

Poltergeist | House - Hey everyone! Thanks for checking out another episode of Motion Picture Meltdown up in this bitch! We're back on track with things and have taken another jump back into the 80's to roast through a couple of classic ghost movies for you guys. In this episode, we go over the 1986 version of House as well one of our favorite horror classics, Poltergeist. In this episode, we talk about "Bull from Night Court's" miraculous return to MPM, sheer scariest in the simplest of camera angles and light work, and the fact that creepy clowns bring out the worst in people. They just need to stop. Enjoy!

MPM S5E06: Carcarodon Crapcharias

Sand Sharks | Bait - Hello Everyone! Welcome to another episode of Motion Picture Meltdown! Sorry for the delay, but we are back on schedule and have some great episodes coming up for you guys! In this episode, Phil couldn't get away from his faithful horse masturbating job for 30 minutes to watch a couple of truly shitty movies. In this episode, Mark "The Shark" (although may change his nickname after these movies) roast through Sand Sharks and the foreign Australian film, Bait. In this podcast, we talk about the sheer stupidity of sharks that swim through sand, terrible Diamond Dallas Page look alikes, and Brooke Hogan's ultimate warrior legs. Enjoy!

MPM S5E05: Where There's a Willow, There's a Way.

Willow | Dreamscape - Hello everyone! Welcome again to another episode of Motion Picture Meltdown! Unfortunately (or is it?) Mark couldn't join us this week, as he was on a journey in the netherealm that is known as Louisiana. However, nothing stops MPM as Philip and I trekked on without his fat ass. In this episode, Philip and I roast through one of Philips favorite childhood movies, Willow, as well as another movie that has possibly the most deceiving cover art of all time, Dreamscape. We talk about the career ups, downs, and wides of Val Kilmer, the importance of midgets to movies in the 80's, and how George Lucas creature design is always recognizable. Enjoy!

MPM S5E04: Let's Kick Some Ash!

Evil Dead | Army of Darkness - Hello everyone! In celebration of the remake release of Evil Dead, Mark, Philip, and myself have decided to do a special surprise episode of Motion Picture Meltdown over the original 1981 horror cult-classic Evil Dead, as well as one of its well-liked sequels, Army of Darkness. In this episode, we talk about some of the history between Bruce Campbell and Sam Raimi, the magic of terrible stop-motion claymation, and how sometimes really terrible, cheesy acting can go a long way in enjoying a movie. Also, via Mark, go see the new Evil Dead remake! Its not for the light-hearted, and is super gruesome! Enjoy!

MPM S5E03: An American Werewolf in MPM

An American Werewolf in London | An American Werewolf in Paris - Hello everyone! Welcome again to another great episode of Motion Picture Meltdown! This episode, Mark, Philip, and myself jump back into the horror genre, and go over possibly the best werewolf movie of all time, An American Werewolf In London as well as possibly one of the worst in existence in the "sequel", An American Werewolf In Paris. Check it out, and you'll hear us talk about proper special effects etiquette in horror movies, why all werewolves have to sound like demon spawn, and why John Landis simply and utterly kicks ass. Enjoy!

MPM S5E02: Its Just the Swazye Things Are

Roadhouse | Steel Dawn - Hello again, and welcome to another great Motion Picture Meltdown episode! In this special Swayzecast, Philip, Mark, and myself roast through possibly Swayze best and biggest movie, Roadhouse, as well as one of his not so familiar movies, in the post-apocalyptic shit-fest known as Steel Dawn. You'll hear categories of Welfare Tuscan Raiders, what exactly it takes to become like a guy one fucks in prison, as well as the fact the Sam Elliot and "Jackie Treehorn" decided to make Roadhouse, and then go film The Big Lebowski together. Enjoy!

MPM S5E01: Flashes Of Terribleness

The Ice Pirates | Flash Gordon - Hello everyone and WELCOME BACK to Motion Picture Meltdown as we kick off our Season 5. Yes, five seasons. We can't believe and neither should you! We promise to bring you the cream of the crop when it comes to nonsensical horrible movies this season, and we start off by roasting the 1984 Scyfy adventure movie The Ice Pirates as well as one of everyone's favorite cheesy films, Flash Gordon. In this podcast Philip, Mark, and I are all still together and kickin' as we talk about Max Von Sydow's blood bathing routine, Sam Jones' acting/for/cocaine policy, welfare Mad Max/Star Wars, and Ian Flemming's secret murder group. Enjoy!

MPM: S04/E24 - Someone Call CPS On The McCallisters.

Home Alone | Home Alone 2: Lost in New York - Welcome everyone to the Season 4 finale of Motion Picture Meltown! Since we just passed Christmas, we thought a great combo to end up the season would be cinephile favorites, Home Alone  and Home Alone 2: Lost in New York. In this episode, Mark, Phil, myself, and a returning Cheats "Three Meats - The Street" McGee go over the millions of child protective laws being broken, the facts that favor both of these movies as Christmas movies (no matter what Agent Bill H. Deaton says), as well as talk about Daniel Stern and Joe Pesci's Nine lives in these movies. Enjoy!

MPM: S04/E23 - Turbo Man Saves Ernest Saves Christmas!

Jingle All The Way | Ernest Saves Christmas - Hello everyone, and welcome to part 3 of the MPM MONTH OF CHRISTMAS! And yes, we are fully aware that Christmas is over, but our episodes were recorded before it, so SUCK IT! and what better way to pass the time before we kick off Season Five in two week! In this episode, Mark, Philip, and I roast another Arnold movie in Jingle All The Way and another Ernest movie in Ernest Saves Christmas!. Enjoy!